Well – we finally had that talk with Littlest Wombat. It had come to the point when we needed to explain to him that the reason he found some things difficult was the way his brain worked. In short, that he has Asperger’s. Although we didn’t put it to him that bluntly!
We had been thinking about how to have that conversation for some time now. Having autism is nothing new in our family, neither among our kids nor (as Hubby Wombat and I sometimes discuss) among extended family. We’ve always been very pragmatic about it and have been very open with all our Wombats that autism is just a different way of seeing the world. We’re all different, and this is just one of the ways in which we’re different.
Anyway, Littlest Wombat’s eyes glazed over a bit, but all in all, we thought that the chat went pretty well. He took the news very calmly. So I’ve been having a chuckle since his last swimming lesson, when it became apparent that he hadn’t really taken any of it in!
Swimming. Difficult. Lessons in the holidays? Come on, mum. NO WAY!
I persisted. With the inducement of a snack at the kiosk before, and Hungry Jack’s afterwards, I lured him to the pool, And even into the water. But into the wrong water. Into the bath-warm water of the hydrotherapy pool. Two minutes in that was enough to put him off going into the cooler water of the big pool. Instead, he sat at the edge for two-thirds of his lesson, stubbornly shaking his head each time the teacher tried to joke him into joining in. And there were only two other students that afternoon! It could have been the perfect lesson.
Finally, I reminded him that he had 9 minutes left to earn his Hungry Jack’s meal. He finally slipped into the water, and joined in well.
Afterwards, I thanked the teacher for his patience and the calm way in which he dealt with Littlest Wombat.
“He really reminds me of my cousin,” said the teacher. “He has Asperger’s, doesn’t he?”
“Yes, he does,” I replied.
“So does my cousin,” the teacher told me. “They’re very similar.”
As he headed off to teach his next class, I reflected on how lucky Littlest Wombat was to have this discerning young man as his teacher.
Later, in the car, I said to Littlest Wombat, “Jake told me something interesting after your lesson today.”
“What was that?” He was curious.
“He said that you reminded him of his cousin.”
“I don’t know his cousin,” Littlest Wombat said, losing interest.
“No, neither do I. But his cousin has Asperger’s. Like you,” I said.
“Do I have Asperger’s?” he asked, suddenly perking up again.
Whaaaaaat????? I was torn between a desire to laugh and groan.
I tried to speak neutrally. “Yes, sweetheart. That’s what Daddy and I were talking to you about on Saturday!”. I had noticed that afternoon that Littlest Wombat had seemed to be losing focus at one point. Oh dear. Had he listened at all?
“Oh.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Heaps of people have Asperger’s. And I like burgers!”
That was it? Wow!
I was still unconvinced that he was really taking it in. But maybe he had, and was just so cool with it that it didn’t really make a difference. ?? Maybe? Probably wishful thinking.
Or just maybe, all the times we had talked about autism with the kids and what it meant, and how Dancing Wombat and Train Wombat managed (or didn’t) their different challenges had made a difference. Maybe he did see autism as just a different way of being. As it is.
Maybe we have managed to get something fairly major right.
I’m sure this won’t be the end of the story. Littlest Wombat is still young. Like anyone, it will take him time to understand and learn strategies that will help him build on his strengths and manage his challenges. His reaction showed that he hadn’t really taken in much of our discussion. But equally, it seems to indicate that he sees Asperger’s – autism – as something he can take in his stride. And that’s good news.
Until next time, may your news be good news. And Happy Wombatting!
